Musical Inspiration: “Don’t You Worry” by R.City – The lyrics are simply stated honesty with a catchy guitar riff backing them. But it’s the feeling of hope that you’re left with that makes this song extra special.
This post coming to you from: London
Ordinarily an 11 hour red-eye flight in economy class equates to an acknowledgement that sleep will be a thing of the dreams you are unable to actually have. But my flight from Perth was virtually empty, leaving me the whole row to lay down. Sleep came quickly and before I knew it was was hazily staring at a flight attendant as she asked me if I wanted breakfast.
Sprinkling pepper over my “this actually looks ok” omelette, I flipped through the selection of movies, choosing something I thought would be inconsequential and suitable background noise for bringing myself slowly back into the conscious world. However, easing back in was not in the cards, and I soon found my brain being jolted into a flurry of thoughts around the narrative in front of me. Touché Universe, you win again.
The Ben Stiller and Naomi Watts movie “While We’re Young” is a brilliantly written introspective on how crafted, coined and concocted our world has become. It highlights how the ones now telling the stories, the 20-somethings generation who seek irony in the most unironic of places, are going about the process in a way that is more like an intricate weaving of half truths, shoved together to create an image of what the world is now demanding to see. It’s authenticity personified.
We push together points on a timeline to make it seem as though all the other crap in-between either isn’t as important or isn’t there altogether. Because we want to be admired. We want to be what inspires someone else to do what we do. We want to be recognized. And that doesn’t mean everyone is seeking A-level celebrity status. We simply want to have a sense of belonging. Recognition from friends and family, from the guy in the grocery store in your small town, from an old friend from high school who sees a relevant post on Facebook – all of these will do. It’s that constant underlying ambition to feel like we can get those like buttons to somehow appear in the constructs of our real life…and then get people to push them.
Getting your real life like button hit as many times as possible – in essence, feeling a sense of belonging, increases your chances of survival in both a business and personal sense. Mark Leary and Roy Baumeister demonstrated this in their 1995 psychological study “The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as Fundamental Human Motivation.” In the study they state, “…the need for power may well be driven by the need to belong…people prefer achievements that are validated, recognized, and valued by other people over solitary achievements…and the need for approval and intimacy are undoubtedly linked to the fact that approval is a prerequisite for forming and maintaining social bonds.”
So it’s no wonder that 20 years later as the digital world has opened up immense new avenues for connection and social media has expanded rapidly with it, our networks and avenues to finding that sense of belonging have exponentially increased. The pressure to present an outward facing persona that is likable, relatable, inspirational or otherwise culturally and socially accepted by the masses has not just become something we do but something we feel we must do in order to increase our chances of survival.
It’s real…but it’s not. It’s snippets of real, curated for public consumption. And our society has become less inclined to care about these slight re-writings of the truth. In fact, quite the contrary, we now almost demand that people only show us their curated selves because anything else would be too abrasive, ugly, or God-forbid depressing. It would harm the pretty little ideals being pumped out to us everyday and threaten the commercial consumerist society that we walk around in semi-(if not fully)-oblivious to what we are being trained to believe.
“I need that outfit/gadget/minimum-of-11-hearts-on-my-Instagram-pic in order to feel like I belong.”
The process for telling a story is no longer linear. And we are forcing people to tell their stories. Nowadays if someone isn’t active on Facebook, we are justified in being suspicious. “What are they trying to hide?” As if those who are active are really showing us everything about themselves.
Sure, every now and then we’ll be open to poking fun at this reality. Something like Socality Barbie goes viral because deep down we all know what we are doing is ridiculous and although laced with the truth, feels like we are being distinctly fake.
We have 700 friends on Facebook and over 500 connections on LinkedIn, but we feel alone because the number of people who actually know what’s going on in our lives, the number who we actually feel connected to, who we can be really truly honest with, that number is more like 5.
Deep down we know that if we look at our Facebook walls we will see loads of happy memories, but what won’t be visible to anyone but our own mind is the fight we had with our partner hours before we snapped ourselves smiling broadly, arm-in-arm licking an ice cream cone sitting on some perfect park bench. Our walls won’t show the sinking feeling of anxiety that encroached on our excitement as we checked in at an airport, off on another adventure but unsure of what lay on the other end. Those posts won’t tell the narrative of “I’ve had no sleep and I don’t know how to relate to this screaming mass of skin, hair and nails or how to make myself feel like I’m not completely fucking her up.” It will just show an adorable chubby-cheeked face with the caption, “I can’t believe my little angel is already 6 months old!” and about 72 likes and 16 “so cute!” comments along the bottom.
The travel world is particularly guilty of this non-linear, curated storytelling. Travel bloggers need likes and comments and shares. They need to inspire. For those who have been the most successful in cultivating this inspiration, they are rewarded with free hotel rooms in luxury resorts around the world. They are given book deals. They advise on social media strategy and get paid to give talks to business leaders about how they encapsulated an audience of millions or used their digital know-how to become a dot com traveling tycoon.
Every now and then, some travel blogger will write about the reality that we have all faced at one point or another in our travels – the survival phase. The no-money-oh-shit-what-now portion of travel that makes you let go of your pride so you can make a PB&J for dinner that night. These post provide fellow travelers with just enough “phew I’m not alone” or inspiration that “if they survived it, so can I.” And it gives those sitting complacently in a desk job back home the justification to say “well that’s why I don’t just throw caution to the wind and go live a life of travel.” Regardless, this “raw honesty” nets out the same results – likes and shares – before the travel blogger undoubtedly goes back to posting amazing sunset views and stories of adventuring through the packed streets of a Thai city in a tuk tuk.
CTF is as guilty of this as any of the rest of them. Cosmic Trust Fall seeks to inspire, to demonstrate that letting go and just trusting in what will be is a way of life that nets happiness and success. But as with any path, there are bumps, and there are lasting cuts which turn into scars. Ultimately, I pride myself on being the perpetually positive light in any room. I love finding silver linings even in the worst of situations and find that when I allow my scars to be marks of strength rather than just past pain, I am overall happier with my life.
What I have realized, though, is that Cosmic Trust Fall can no longer be curated based on the conformities which have been put in place for sharing and connecting. I haven’t posted a single piece onto this site in 6 weeks because for the majority of that time, I had moved to the middle of Australia to “see about a boy.” While a part of me was open to and even excited by the idea of moving around the world for love (something I had never allowed myself to do before), another part of me felt as though I was settling down, tapering the adventure, returning to a complacent existence – all things that I didn’t think were consistent with what I wanted CTF to be about.
And when that love failed almost as quickly as it had started – owning up to that kind of failure is difficult…and eye opening. (Key learning here: Always try. Always take the risk. And if you’re going to fail, fail fast. And then figure out how to move forward.)
The thing is, sometimes the Universe puts complacency in front of you because you need to rest for a minute, because you need to just have a bit of routine again. It doesn’t mean that the adventure is over, or that there isn’t adventure to be had during this time. Sometimes failure is there to put you on the right track to success. That monotony, those struggles, the fights, the depression, the anxiety – they are a part of life too. And it deserves to be shown, because real life, the life on the timeline between the posts, it is just as important as the rest of it. It shows us all the real “normal.” It might make people uncomfortable because it makes them face their own reality. It might lead to feeling exposed and vulnerable. It might even result in feeling less liked. But that is the risk CTF is going to start taking across all platforms.
Today is the 8th of October, 2015, and starting from today, CTF is going to get really real. No more presenting a curation of dotted points on a timeline based on what seems most socially acceptable. When things are depressing or rough, you are going to see that raw honesty. When there is reason to be nervous or question the path, yep, that is getting posted too.
Life is what you make it, and I aim to live a life of gratitude and happiness, but that doesn’t mean shit doesn’t hit the fan now and then. Failure is not something to shy away from; it is one of the greatest things that can propel you toward greatness…but only if you can be honest with yourself and others about where things went wrong.
Let’s make this a revolution of the way we interact and present ourselves online. If this is our new reality, then let’s actually make it real. I invite you to join this evolution. I invite you to share your failures, your moments of self-consciousness, your feelings of doubt. Let’s find the silver linings together.
As always (and maybe with more meaning now than ever), Happy Falling!
Musical Inspiration: An aptly named tune by Paces ft. Kucka called “Nothing’s Forever.” I’ll let you be the judge as to why I’ve chosen this particular track…read on CTFers!
This post coming to you from: Melbourne
How do you define loyalty? And before you go all Merriam-Webster on me, take a minute to really think about the reference points that have led you to construct your definition over the course of your life.
Are your parents divorced? What is the length of most of your relationships (lovers or friends)? Have you ever cheated on a partner? Been cheated on? What is the longest amount of time you’ve been with a given employer? How many times have you moved house? How often have you found yourself in a genuine crisis? How many times have you helped friends/family/co-workers/businesses who are in crisis mode? What are your views on political systems which dictate leaders be in office for no more than two terms versus those which allow for 20+ year stints of power? Do you now or do you ever plan to hold dual citizenship?
How we each answer these questions, amongst many many others, helps to shape our perspective on what it means to be loyal. Because the term’s meaning is just that – a relative perspective. However, the priority it takes as a sought after characteristic is often anything but relative.
According to a 2014 study published in the Universal Journal of Psychology, the number one characteristics both men and woman look for in a partner is loyalty. In fact, it was the only characteristic that both genders agreed on with regard to its importance.
A Forbes article from 2011 reported that three fourths of all Fortune 500 CEOs were internal hires and the average time spent rising to their position was 16 years.
The number of studies and articles written around brand loyalty could make your head spin. It is the marketing mecca ground. And alongside brand awareness, is the golden ticket to growing most if not all consumer-facing businesses. (Accurate measurement of brand awareness/loyalty in a scalable way will be the next big innovation to rock the landscape of marketing and advertising…unassuming customer beware.)
In today’s digital world, having a loyal following literally pays. Instagramers, YouTubers and bloggers aspire to achieve a loyal following – people who will not only engage with what they are posting, but share it with their friends/followers. They make sometimes tens of thousands of dollars off of single product mentions because of their loyal follower base.
Defining Loyalty
Loyalty as a word generally holds a positive connotation. Yet depending on how it is relatively defined, can also translate into some negative attributes. For example, one person might look at a resume and see a candidate who has been with one or two companies for their 10+ year career and view that person as loyal (positive). Another person may look at that same candidate and see someone who is admittedly loyal, but also lacks innovation, fears change or possibly is not exerting or challenging themselves enough (negative). So who hires the candidate?
Depending on the eye of the beholder, its perceived presence in a person (or lack there of) can vastly change the outcome of a given situation. Travelers are often perceived to be disloyal, always moving on to the next adventure, seeking new areas to explore or experiences to gain. While chasing one’s wanderlust is often associated with a certain pixie-dust-like fantastical aspiration, the reality is that those who actively engage these tendencies are more often than not labeled as flight risks, unstable, or even indecisive. To the “normal world,” travelers only belong amongst other travelers, and on various screens as points of inspiration for “one day” or at best, to mimic on the upcoming vacation.
Which is fair play. Perceived disloyalty translates in most cases to increased risk. Who wants to establish a romantic relationship with someone who might decide in a month that actually they need to move to a different country? Why prioritize budget spend against a consumer base that has in recent years demonstrated an increasingly high focus on value for money over brand loyalty? Why put the energy, money and resource into training a person who might not choose to stay with a company longer than 6 months or a year? And conversely, why would a potential employee want to put effort into a company that is only willing to offer casual or inconsistent employment?
Humans Are Creatures of Habit, But Times They Are-a-changin’
We form patterns. We are taught to calculate risk to the Nth degree in an effort to control outcomes. We value loyalty because it provides a known and relatable comfort. But in the world today, loyalty is not what it used to be, and while the meanings of days past still remain intact in many ways, the millennial generation (and certainly the incoming generation below them) is ushering in a new way of viewing loyalty.
Relationship-wise, loyalty still remains a driving factor, but it’s constructs are changing. Scientifically-speaking, a core feature of our existence is procreation, and females especially seek out partners who they think will stick around for the long haul because that loyalty translates to added benefits to their offspring. However, the average age of marriage continues to rise, and the number of people having children out of wedlock is growing as well. So while loyalty is still desired in a partner, when we chose to partake in that loyalty (give and receive) and the definition of what that loyalty looks like is moving toward something wholly different from our what our parents encountered. The digital age has had the largest single impact on this. Online dating has opened up a slew of new choices and in doing so deconstructed the once classic definition and desire for loyalty. Now choosing a partner (for the evening or for life) is as easy as ordering a book on Amazon. As a direct result, the mindset around loyalty is being drastically altered to reflect a growing society which acknowledges the acceptable nature of multiple partners in order to satisfied the varying needs of the “8 second attention span” generation.
Brand loyalty. It is the goose which lays the golden egg and yet attaining it is becoming nothing short of a wild goose chase. Millennials are pickier when it comes to brand loyalty than their parents were. According to a recent poll conducted by Elite Daily, good customer service and “quality product” are the two highest factors for brand loyalty amongst millennials. Sixty-two percent reported that if a brand engaged with them on social media, they’d be more likely to be loyal to that brand. So if you loose in the content engagement arena or go for cheaper quality to save money/time, and the millennial will be quick to jump ship. Depending on your defined meaning of “loyalty,” this scenario either reads as millennials are extremely loyal (for companies who meet/exceed expectations, rewards have been shown to be ten fold returns) or very flighty (happy to jump ship as soon as their needs aren’t met).
When it comes to hiring practices, again, the winds of change are upon us. A recent report from the US Bureau of Labor Statistics sites that while the average 55 year old spends 10 years at a given job, the average 25 year old stays only three years. The contract and consultant workforce is growing, with some estimating that more than 40% of workers will be contractors in just five years. Resources like Nomads List and UpWork are some of the databases assisting in this growth, but the general shift in mindset is progressing it as well. More and more millennials are leaning toward starting their own businesses, aka becoming consultants (the most recent US Census report showed a 2% CAGR in non employer businesses, while employer businesses continue to decline). Consulting is no longer only for those willing to take a leap, but rather is now becoming a logical and progressive next step for a career. For businesses, this translates to an ability to hire on an as needed basis, saving time and money over the long term. For the consultants, it means a growing pool of companies who are no longer constraining their budgets or their hiring practices to only bringing in long term talent. It also means greater flexibility in when and where work is taking place, so in addition to employer loyalty being redefined so is location loyalty.
The Deconstruction of Loyalty
So what does this all mean? Are we collectively tumbling toward a society full of flighty and fleeting lifestyle choices and encounters? Quite the contrary. Loyalty is being reimagined, but it is very far from being abolished. We are simply being forced to take a second look at what once defined the core attributes of loyalty in our own minds.
When it comes to choosing what we have/keep in our lives, be it a brand or a person, loyalty is a moving target which challenges us to re-evaluate what it means to be loyal to given people or brands over the course of time, and notwithstanding, whether that loyalty is still valued or deserved. Relationships and marriage are being challenged to essentially “prove their worth” in return for loyalty. With an ever-expanding reach for possible choices, now more than ever, one must have a deep and detailed understanding of themselves, what they want/need in a partner, and where their definition of loyalty stands before getting into a relationship. This is equally as true for establishing strong friendships as it is for healthy romantic relationships. Be it a relationship or a brand, time spent together and experiences shared are no longer the ultimate defined markers for continued loyalty. It is not that we are less loyal, but we are pickier in who and what we choose to be loyal to.
Similarly, travelers and expats are are growing population, and the knowledge and experiences being sought after through traveling is not making this group less loyal. Rather, they are more judicious in what they are loyal to and how they express that loyalty. As contract and freelance work continues to grow, location-agnostic work lifestyles are becoming more frequent, and so the traveler/expat, while not loyal to a certain company, city, or work environment, is loyal to a pursuit of learning and translating those experiences into business growth opportunities. Especially as globalisation continues to expand at a massive rate, having these people on your team, even if just for periods of time, can greatly benefit the business. The challenge then becomes not questioning the presence of loyalty, but understanding if a given company and person are the right match of skill sets and experience for it to maximise the time spent together, however long or short that may be.
TL;DR
The conclusion? Loyalty is an important characteristic that we seek out in various forms based on the construction of our lives. However, it’s definition is evolving with the advancements in technology, society’s re-assessment of the “normal” path to success and new generations which are challenging the cycles and patterns which left their parents and grandparents divorced, unhappy in a job or otherwise unsatisfied in life. This change is bringing about a new era which will force us to reconsider just how rigid our definition of loyalty can really be if we are ultimately in pursuit of happiness as the end goal.
This video is what it is all about. This man, Jedidiah Jenkins, exemplifies what I preach for Cosmic Trust Fall and once again proves that this mentality – this desire to strive for something more, to CHOOSE ADVENTURE and to WAKE UP YOUR BRAIN to the magic that still exists all around you in this world – it is not fleeting, nor is it outlandish. (Kudos to his videographer/friend, Kenny, as well for capturing such a visually stunning representation of his journey.)
This post breaks tradition and does not include Musical Inspiration. It will not be a long rambling per norm of my own thoughts and reflections. Because I want you all to take the time instead to actually watch this video and listen the words Jedidiah says. Really listen. Hear what he is saying and allow for it to penetrate through your daily life and way of being to a place that feels that spark.
You don’t have to go off on a thousand mile bike journey. Depending on your circumstances, you may not even have to quit your job. But I implore you to listen, and to choose adventure where ever you can. There is a child that still exist inside of you and (s)he is waiting to explore the wonder that exist in this world. Seek that out.
And always, Happy Falling!
Just in case you missed it, this bit is really important:
“The routine is the enemy of time. It makes it fly by. When you’re a kid, everything is astonishing, everything is new. And so your brain is awake and turned on. So every passing second you’re brain is learning something new, learning how the world works, and so the muscle of your brain is activated.
And as you get older and your brain has figured out the patterns of the way the world works – this is how you make money, this is how you graduate school, this is how you get a mortgage, this is how you have kids – I’ve got that on lockdown. I know my car. I know how to go to work everyday. I know how to check out. All these things. And once your brain establishes a routine, it stops…the alertness goes away – the fascination with the way the world works.
And that’s what travel in general does. It wakes up your brain.”
Musical Inspiration: Many hours of inspiration have been fueled by the amazing piano solos of Mr. Ludovico Einaudi and this remix really struck a cord (ba dom chi).
This post coming to you from: Melbourne
I first became an expat a few months after my 14th birthday. My parents, in an effort to expand their own horizons as much as mine and my sister’s, moved us to the southern part of Germany. The experience, albeit somewhat sheltered because we were still surrounded by many of the comforts of home via the US military, was eye-opening.
For those all about validation by numbers (myself included), I have been an expat for just shy of 22% of my life. I have moved across state or country lines at least 7 times (maybe 8 depending on how you swing it). I have held jobs in four countries, and work visas in two (one of which extended my ability to travel/work across the EU). With the exception of my last apartment in New York, I have never spent more than 1.5 years in a given residence during my adult life (aka the past 12 years). I have friends I would trust with my life in five different time zones, and business contacts or people I keep in “loose contact” with (aka via email/chat/social media) in 22 countries around the world (which represents just over 11% of the current member states of the UN).
I am far from being alone in this lifestyle. A report issued last year by market research and financial consultancy Finaccord, estimates that there are currently 50.5 million expats worldwide, a number which is expected to increase to 56.8 million by 2017. The current number represents a CAGR of 2.4% over the five years since 2009. Most (73.6%) expats are individual workers, with a growth rate estimated at 3.2% between 2013 and 2017. Student expats are expected to have the strongest growth over that same period of time (3.6%), demonstrating that the younger generations are rapidly recognizing and embracing the effects of globalization on their future success.
While immigration policies change about as frequently as the weather on a winter day in Melbourne, and can vary drastically from country to country, in general, the people who are attracted to the life of living abroad exhibit some very common characteristics. They are not just citizens of the country on the cover of their passport, but rather they are citizens of the world. And as their percentages continue to rise, they have the ability to impact businesses around the globe in some very meaningful ways.
If you are looking to fill roles in your business, here are the 11 reasons, in no particular order, why you should definitely invite an expat* (current or previous) from that stack of resumes in for a chat.
1. Expats are constant seekers of knowledge.
They are always on a path to learn more, and more importantly, humble to the fact that there will always be something and someone from whom they can learn more. This is true at all experience levels. They have challenged themselves to step out of their comfort zones and in doing so, understand that life is a journey of constantly knowing mass amounts and yet simultaneously knowing nothing at all.
There is a great Zen story about a traveling philosophy professor and a Zen master. The professor comes across the Zen master’s cottage during his travels. The Zen master notices that the professor looks to be in a hurry, but invites him in and says, “I will prepare tea for you. You look tired. Wait a little, rest a little and have a cup of tea. And then we can discuss.”
As the Zen master begins to boil the water, he can see the professor beginning to boil within – chattering and talking, preparing himself for what he should ask, where he should begin, what they should discuss.
The Zen master smiles as he watches the professor and thinks to himself, “This man is too full, so much so that nothing can enter him. The answer cannot be given because there is no one to receive it. The guest cannot enter into the house, there is no room.” The professor was so full that he could not even enter himself. He sits outside of his own being, unable to enter.
The Zen master begins to pour the tea into the cup. He can see the professor becoming uneasy as the tea continues to pour. As the tea reaches the brim of the cup, close to overflowing onto the floor, the professor yells out, “Stop! What are you doing? This cup cannot hold any more tea, not even a single drop. Are you mad? What are you doing?”
The Zen master smiles and replies, “The same is the case with you. You are so alert to observe and become aware that the cup is full and cannot hold any more, why are you not so aware about your own self? You are overflowing with opinions, philosophies, doctrines, scriptures. You know too much already; I cannot give you anything. You have travelled in vain. Before coming to me, you should have emptied your cup. Then I could pour something into it.”
Expats seek to explore from a place within and a desire to constantly be filling themselves up and then emptying themselves again in an effort to make room for more. They appreciate that while they are talented, intelligent, and business savvy in their field (see below, expats are confident), they should always be open to letting go of all they think they know in order to learn a new way of life. This world is full of all kinds of different people and cultures. Expats seek to understand this at a local level but from a global vantage point. They consistently open themselves up to critique, unfamiliar situations, inherent danger, and new experiences in that process.
2. Expats embrace change.
Change is a way of life. It is what moves us all forward and is, like death and taxes, one of those things in life that you can always count on to happen. It is also one of the healthiest things a person, group, company, general entity can embody – embracing change. Expats not only embrace change but exude its potential in just about everything they do. They have openly and eagerly changed their surroundings, changed their mindsets, changed the way they choose to challenge themselves. They have uprooted their comfort base because they understand the meaning of innovation at a core level, and they see potential for progress where others might shy away from the risk.
If you want someone who can and will see the light through the clouds, someone who can recognize real opportunities for growth and driving new revenue, expats are your golden egg.
3. They are planners, yet know how to react with poise and intelligence at a moments notice.
Source: HSBC 2014 Expat Explorer Survey
Most, if not all, people reading this have moved home at least once in their life. Maybe it was just across town, maybe it was across borders, but in any case, it was a guaranteed pain in the ass. Paying movers might help a bit, but moving still ranks as one of the most stressful activities in this thing we call life. Now imagine all that stress compounded times five hundred because not only are there all of the logistics of moving belongings and setting up a new residence but there is the emotional stress of leaving loved ones, letting go of things that simply cannot be brought to the new destination, and the daunting task of establishing new bonds and a completely new way of life in a country that is not your own, possibly even with a language that is not your first. Scratch that, definitely with a language that is not your first because even English lingo varies vastly from country to country.
Expats have experienced this task at least once (47% have done it multiple times) in their life and have come out successful on the other end. They know how to plan for the big and small things, but maybe more importantly, how to be prepared for and react appropriately to the unexpected. They embody a great ability to handle stressful events with a level of calm that can be otherwise difficult to find. And with age and further experience being an expat, this ability to remain calm and poised and act from a place of quick instinctual intelligence only grows.
4. They are meticulous budget gurus.
Source: HSBC 2014 Expat Explorer Survey
If you want someone who appreciates the impact of a single dollar/pound/euro/rupee, talk to an expat. At the surface level, expats are conscious of how they spend, because they have had to budget for large-scale relocations, travel funds, cost of living variances, etc. At a deeper level, and because they a) probably have bank accounts in multiple currencies and b) have dealt with companies/budgets across multiple countries, they understand the impact of global finances and the value of various sums across borders. Alongside a strong established business knowledge for working with partners and business solutions experts, an expat brings to your business a demonstrated knowledge for what is acceptable spending practice in different countries.
For example, a pair of jeans at J. Crew costs about $120 in the US. Without searching online, how much do those same jeans cost in the UK? How about in Australia? Most expats, given their world knowledge and experience living in and traveling through many countries can answer this in about 1.5 seconds, no Googling required. But that’s easy you say, and how is that relevant to my business which is not buying jeans but rather trading equities, or planning marketing campaigns, or providing advice to high-profile c-level executives on how to devise their business strategies? The point here is not that an expat will tell you the price of a pair of jeans. The point is that they keep a natural, almost subconscious, pulse on world financials because in the back of their mind they know they have to. Their success in their home country, their current country or any future country depends on it. And they have a deep appreciation for what the changing financial climates in various regions can mean to their given field and their continued success in that field. Bottom line is, they have a love for journeying through foreign lands, and if they want to continue to embrace that love, they better have a strong and practical understanding of how they are going to afford it.
This savviness will naturally have a positive impact on your business. Trust expats to spend your business’ money because they will spend it consciously and as frugally as if it were their own.
5. They are communication experts.
Source: HSBC 2014 Expat Explorer Survey
As globalisation continues to expand its impact on business worldwide, having expats in your ranks (or better yet, leading your ranks) will improve your business’ ability to produce results across an international playing field.
Expats left their family and friends, people they care deeply for, in time zones far, far away. As such, expats become experts at navigating the various communication channels to keep in contact with those who are important to them. They can masterfully conquer time management and schedule across multiple busy calendars so that they remain connected to the people they left. If you have teams or partners in various regions, put an expat in charge of communicating with them. Put an expat in charge of making sure everyone is on the same page, that everyone involved feels informed and that the business is able to move forward collectively.
Source: HSBC 2014 Expat Explorer Survey
Expats also appreciate the variants in communication styles across different countries and cultures. Over time, and with experience across more countries, expats learn to read various kinds of body language and establish an understanding not just of the lingo but for the underlying meanings behind the way certain things are said or presented. These nuances are not easily picked up, sometimes even by locals, but because of the expat’s unique “outsider looking in” approach, they are often able to recognize things about a communication that could make the difference in the success of a given pitch, presentation or business proposal.
Bare with me for a bit of story time to exemplify this: You are an American pitching a business led by a British businessman. During the meeting he asks some questions but shows no real outward visible excitement for what you are saying. You demonstrate irrefutably that you can double their revenue and his response is a near monotone, “That’s very interesting.” You leave the meeting disheartened and worried that you should have added more numbers/visuals/statutory evidence/etc. A week later, you get the account.
You are ecstatic and get to work straight away. Weeks and months go by. You are producing the results you promised but there have been some hiccups, and a couple of meetings in which that businessman has started to demonstrate small signs of unhappiness. No big deal, right? Nothing can be perfect all the time, and these small bits of feedback are all part of the process. Then in one meeting, that British businessman demonstrates a real flare of visible irritation. This throws you a bit. It’s the first real time you’ve seen him show a heightened, and more importantly outward, level of emotion. But you take it as a learning and aim to correct the problems raised in that meeting. Two weeks later, despite efforts to turn things around, you are told that the business will no longer be needing your services.
The reality is you had lost the account well before you saw that first outward expression. The British motto is “Keep calm and carry on” for God’s sake. Outward emotion is not something they do, especially in business. So if you see real outward emotion (good or bad), 98% of the time, that emotion has been present for a very long time already. You just weren’t privy to it at the surface.
Source: HSBC 2014 Expat Explorer Survey
These are the kind of encounters that most expats are able to recognize when they are happening, before it gets to the point of losing the business. They have, through experiences with people of other cultures, picked up on the nuances of communication styles and learned how to respond appropriately. Granted, not all expats will have this experience at the same level, and it will vary dependent on their amassed experience with various cultures, but in general, expats are the people you want at the table when you go to scale internationally. It could literally be the difference between weeks or months of pointless work for a client/partner who has already checked out.
6. Expats understand cultural relevance.
Source: HSBC 2014 Expat Explorer Survey
Very closely tied to understanding the various communication styles is understanding how different cultures exist, interact with one another, and what value systems are in place. It goes without saying that knowing this at a local level translates into many benefits to businesses. Company cultures which embrace diversity through hiring a mix of backgrounds breed a work force which is adaptable, innovative and able to drive extended results. A team with expats in it will benefit at a very functional level in different regions of the world.
7. They get sh*t done.
Most will have heard some variation of the quote,
“The difference between a good idea and a great one is in the execution.”
Ideas are everywhere. Everyone has one. Lots of people feel a (sometime misplaced need) to express them. But it is those who can effectively and efficiently execute on their ideas who set the bar for success. Expats had an idea that they wanted to live abroad, so they did it. When someone with a nomadic mind makes the decision to jump, 9 times out of 10, you will see action come out of that decision. It is just how they operate.
The expat exhibits a combination of curiosity with a desire to feed that curiosity with real experiences. This is not the personality type that sits around waiting for things to happen to them. This is a personality that goes out and does things. They are do-ers through and through. Translation for your business: put an expat in the room and you will see increased productivity as an end result. (Warning: avoid putting an expat in too many meetings. The “let’s go do!” mentality does not handle hour-long unproductive recap sessions very well. They do appreciate a nice email with that information…which they will read en route to the meeting where they plan to land you a big deal/account/contract to make your business more money.)
8. Expats are honed into their instincts, own their decisions and learn from their mistakes.
Source: HSBC 2014 Expat Explorer Survey
Alongside the GSD mentality is an ability to understand that wasting time and money faffing around only prevents results from being achieved. They have executed this countless times in their personal life and it naturally extends into their business life. Traveling to foreign countries forces you to learn at a very functional level how to trust your instincts. Expats are acutely honed into this, and can act on their gut feelings more efficiently than those who have never sought to expand their horizons. Expats understand that they must be accountable for their actions. Even in the difficult times, expats appreciate and stand behind their choices because they know that they followed what ultimately felt right. This is where success is born from, where it is cultivated at a very raw level. Having people on your team who instinctually know what to do results in faster turn-around on projects, more autonomous decision-making, and a higher level of return on investment.
With this, also comes a deep understanding that they can and will learn from their mistakes. Everyone makes them, but an expat learns first hand, that some mistakes can have dire consequences on their quality of life, ability to survive, and overall success. They therefore approach decision-making with a sound process of weighing all of the factors and making sound judgement calls combined with a confidence that should a mistake be made, they will be able to correct it and not repeat the error again.
As Alan Watts put it:
“You have to regard yourself as a cloud, in the flesh. Because you see clouds never make mistakes. Did you ever see a misshapen cloud? But if you will treat yourself for a while as a cloud, and realize that you can’t make a mistake whatever you do. Because even if you do something that seems to be totally disastrous, it will all come out in the wash somehow or other. Then through this capacity you will develop a kind of confidence. And through confidence you will be able to trust your own intuition. Through that realization without over-compensating in the other direction, you will come to the point where you begin to be on good terms with your own being and to be able to trust your own brain.”
Expats approach their lives as clouds, and having those clouds in the sky that is your business will, for lack of a better way to put it, make it rain. (Oh yeah, she went there.)
9. They are the ultimate silver-liners, positivity finders, eternal optimists.
Inspirational people inspire others. They motivate by way of intrigue, but maybe more importantly, by way of example. Expats have lived the path of most resistance and have lived to tell the fantastic stories. They are survivors and it is because they have survived that they know they can and will survive more.
Most expats have also, through their extensive travels, seen and experienced life amongst those who have so much less than they do, who have suffered more than they ever will. This gives them a deep appreciation and gratitude for what they have, even in some of the seemingly simplest things. They have been humbled by their travels and this translates to a mentality that will always seek to find the learnings, the smallest sparkle, the most dimly lit light in any otherwise negative situation.
So your prototype failed to gain traction and now your investors are questioning the solitude of your business plan? Put an expat on the case. They will find the silver linings, the key learnings and take aways, that you can turn around to investors with and demonstrate that there is still something to believe in.
10. Expats are confident.
Source: HSBC 2014 Expat Explorer Survey
It almost goes without saying given everything that’s been pointed out up until this point, but expats have taken that leap into the unknown and not just survived but thrived. That builds a confidence that can’t be faked. Of course everyone has their fallacies, but most expats have been forced to face their shortcomings head on. They have challenged themselves to step outside of the comfort zone and as a result have gained an extensive understanding of their strengths and weaknesses. These are the people who will approach business head on, take the reins and lead your team into the great unknown because they know at their core that they can take your team to greatness.
With this confidence also comes a natural ability to build strong relationships. Expats are the ones who will walk up to anyone in a crowded room and start a conversation. At any level of business and experience, they are the ones who know how to network like the pro that they are because they have been doing it every time they land in a new country. It is one of the first things they learn to do, because again, their livelihood, their happiness, has depended on it for as long as they have been a nomad. Expats will cultivate new business for you. They will make your existing clients and partners feel heard, taken care of, and reassured that a partnership with your business was the right move.
Trust in an expat’s confidence and you will see your business taken to new heights.
11. Expats are leaders, not managers.
There are countless articles, studies, seminars, you name it, all focused on what makes a good leader. Many of those traits have been covered above, so it should come as no surprise that an expat embodies the characteristics of a true leader.
Empathy, emotional intelligence, risk taking, confidence – all of these leader traits, amongst others, come lock and step with those who travel the world. Granted, there are different variations and levels, but as a general rule, expats appreciate the struggles of being a stranger in a strange land. This compassion extends to everything from new team members and new business accounts to base line understandings that sometimes what is seen on the surface is not indicative of the inner abilities.
Expats know what it means to start from nowhere. Repeatedly. They have had to start from scratch on many occasions – new home, new friends, new “local” pub, new way of living daily life. This means they are not afraid to jump in and get their hands dirty. They understand that the best way to get the necessary results is not necessarily to direct others in what to do but to instead lead by example. If your business is on the front lines, expats will be at the front of the pack, charging forward with a battle cry that will impress your competitors, your partners, and most importantly the rest of your team.
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Globalisation is no longer the way of the future. It is here and now, and those who are looking to compete in business in a real way must understand that your talent pool needs to be equally as globally minded. Visa regulations, paperwork and fees may still be cumbersome, but the benefits you will receive from bringing an expat into your organization will be tenfold. And if you’re still not quite sure, invite one in for an interview. Listen to how they speak, how they approach situations, ask them what they have learned in the past five years of traveling. That hour of your life will give you all the validation you need. And if not, well at least you gave it a try. But I’m pretty confident that you’ll be impressed. Of course that might just the expat coming out in me again.
As always, Happy Falling!
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*For the purposes of this article, an “expat” is defined as someone who has made the conscious choice to live, work and establish a home in a country outside of their country of primary citizenship. While those who travel exhibit some of the included characteristics, if they are only doing so for a fraction of the year and then returning to live in their home country, they are garnering many of the benefits of traveling but are not truly becoming an expat as such. In this article, an expat is defined as someone who seeks to live life as a local, who does not yet have a return ticket home or a known end date to their “traveling,” and who works to embrace their given residence as much a home as the Home they left.
Musical Inspiration: Comes from that amazing duo known as Oh Wonder. “Livewire” is their May release, the ninth in a year-long quest to release one song per month. The methodic piano rhythms are addictive and the harmonizing of their voices has a trance-like affect on the mind. Bliss. Here’s to the discovery of your own Livewire…
This post coming to you from: Melbourne, Australia
“Never go on trips with anyone you do not love.”
~ Ernest Hemingway, A Moveable Feast
Travel, especially to far off destinations, is an eye-opening experience and one that in order to be fully appreciated should only be shared with those who will embrace your same zest for the adventure ahead. Whether that zest is found in the re-energizing qualities of lying on a beach basking under a warm sun, or in the excitement of zip-lining through the sticky air of the jungle, the person you are with should be someone who is a true companion. You should be confident that they will find the same joy, excitement and wonder in the activities you chose to do together or even open your eyes to new adventures because you share a similar desire to explore.
We’ve all heard about those couples who go off on some über romantic trip to “rekindle” their love. They arrive at a picturesque island, palm trees blowing in the breeze, or to a city bustling with limitless potential for great food, exciting sites and new cultural experiences, and they end up spending half the trip annoyed, depressed, fighting or in some other way unhappy with one another. If you didn’t arrive with the love in your heart, simple fact is, it doesn’t matter where in the world you go, you are not going to find it in a place. Love exists inside ourselves and is an emotion deep-rooted in the soul. It can be inspired or persuaded to be expressed outwardly by certain destinations or experiences, but it does not exist in its original format in those things or places.
This is exactly why, before you set out on a solo travel journey, you must be in love with yourself.
Above all else, the love for ones self is the most powerful. Before we can truly love another person, we must first understand how to love our self. We must know our own true worth and beauty, our own potential, our own intelligence and our own desires. Without this knowledge, we are simply pawns to the existence of someone else’s happiness rather than purveyors of our own life fulfillment.
Solo travel is often touted as the discovery of oneself and a journey which teaches you about your own limits and underlying abilities to survive and be happy. It is all of those things. But the ones who will get the most out of that journey toward self-discovery are those who seek it from a place of already existent self-love. It is those who arrive on the island knowing already how deeply they love themselves who will truly gain all of the benefits that come with being a solo traveler.
Before you set out on that life-changing, discovery of myself, “here I come world!” adventure, these are the 10 reasons why it is important to love yourself, to be IN love with who you are at your core and IN love with what that inner person is in relation to your happiness.
1. You are going to spend a lot of time with you.
Seven billion people in this world, and it’s still possible to be alone? You betcha! Alone is a state of mind as much as it can be a physical being. There will be times when you will be surrounded by one of the largest cities in the world and yet you will feel like if you screamed at the top of your lungs with a ninja-like fury, hell bent on karate chopping the crap out of the next person who walked within five feet of you, no on would even glance up. For as many lovely encounters and wonderful people as there are in this world, we are also self-consumed individuals surviving on a process of natural selection. Eat or be eaten.
Get to know you. You will be your best friend. You will be the one who falls asleep beside you at night reminiscing of the day just gone. You will be the one who wakes up next to you in the morning and pushes you to remove yourself from the sheets and start the day. Which leads us to…
2. When you are lonely, you are going to be the only one who can push yourself out the door.
When a beach or gorgeous mountain-scape or a sun-filled hike to a miraculous waterfall is on the docket, sure getting out of bed will be a breeze. But how about when you haven’t been social in days (maybe weeks) because you’re in the “saving money” phase of your life/journey? What about when you are missing home and all of your friends and family, and starting to question why you are out here all by yourself? Those moments can be consuming and will make you want to just curl back up under the blanket and turn on Friends (because you know, Netflix ya’ll).
Do you love yourself enough to fight that urge? Ok fine, so you do it for one day (sometimes it can be cathartic and necessary), but then you must love yourself enough to get your ass up and go discover something new! Saving money? Trust me, there are free things to do where ever you are. Go for a walk/hike/run/bike ride. Visit a temple/church/museum/random thing you found on a guide from the visitor center. Missing people? You’re not going to find new friends just laying in your bed (insert dirty joke here). Skype a friend or your mom/dad/sister and then get yourself into the shower and out the door! Love yourself enough to go say Hi to someone new!
3. When you get pissed off or frustrated or just plain fed up, guess who is going to be the only person there who gives a shit – you.
So you decided to eat the street meat and now the porcelain god is your best friend? They put you in a room with no air con and 15 other people when they promised you a private villa? You’ve stepped on glass, found a spider the size of your fist commandeering your bathroom, or had an annoying argument with a friend back home over a social media post (yep, that shit is real)? Guess what, no one cares! Well, except for you. Good old you. Frustrated, “why is the world out to get me right now?!” and “I didn’t sign up for this shit” you.
Do you love yourself enough to get over it, deal with it, and move on? Dwelling, worrying, all those otherwise negative things that you’re feeling, they will keep you from experiencing something great. They will keep your mind tied to something that is not going to progress you forward. Love yourself, and LET IT GO. There will be an adventure out there waiting for you, and it’s going to make you smile again. Trust.
4. The road is going to get tough at points, and you will be the only one to fight the desire to go home because deep down, you know there is still more adventure to come.
Do you love yourself enough to stay the course? Do you know how to fight the urges to give up all on your own, without anyone giving you a confidence boost, or telling you that it is going to be ok or that there will be something new coming your way soon? Self-doubt is a natural part of life. It is a healthy part of life because it teaches us to reflect on what is really important and what we value most in life. Learning to love yourself comes with a lot of raw self reflection, and guess what, solo travel provides loads of opportunities for self-doubt to come to the forefront. Loving yourself means knowing how to appropriately deal with that when it arises.
5. You will be the only one in your corner when other people question you, attempt to make you feel small, or attempt to throw you off course.
There are loads of quotes about leadership and being an entrepreneur that focus on a similar thread of thought: those who pave the way, who take risks, who challenge the norms, and who succeed in really affecting change in this world, they are the crazy ones, the ones who walk alone before the masses catch on and begin to walk with them.
“At first they’ll ask you WHY you’re doing it.
But later they will ask you HOW you did it.”
Knowing how to answer the ‘why’ when you venture out on your own is invaluable. And not just to get people, even if temporarily, to stop asking, but for yourself, to reassure yourself of your motives for your journey. One day they will want to learn from you. For now, being confident and loving the person inside of you who knows how to assuredly answer back, “Because I’m going to do great things and this is the first step” is vital.
6. You will be your biggest cheerleader, ultimate strategist and forever resourceful companion when plans fall through, unexpected barriers are presented or things just all around go to hell.
A strong support network is an integral part of solo travel. Knowing who you can fall back on and having people who will catch you should you fall is absolutely imperative to a successful solo travel adventure. However, when you’re in a foreign country, your SIM card won’t connect to a network to save its life (or possibly yours!), wifi is a thing of dreams and you’re staring at a sign written in a language you don’t understand trying to decide ‘Go right or go left?”, the only support network you’re going to be able to depend on is that little cheerleader inside of you singing a Beyonce song (“to the left, to the left”) and urging you to take a step forward and just TRUST. These moments happen a lot during solo travel. Broken bag straps/wheels, lost/stolen money and credit cards, hotels randomly dropping your reservation, needing medical aide, getting stranded on a part of the island with no taxis in sight and the sun going down. The struggle is real, and only you are going to pull yourself out of that mess.
7. The sky will light up in front of you and you will be the only one to remind yourself to take in that moment, to appreciate all of its grace and beauty and to let it sink into your soul.
Most of us have been on those magical trips with lovers or friends. The ones where you look across the table and feel grateful to have such amazing people in your life. Or where your partner(s) in crime catch a quick glimpse of something fascinating and eagerly point it out you. Or where you and your companion(s) take turns playing photographer, capturing every second of your epic adventure in digital bliss. Memories forever embedded in Facebook photo albums and video compilations.
Those moments don’t exactly exist when you travel alone. Sometimes you need to be able to actively remind yourself how lucky you are to be in a place, sitting in perfect harmony with yourself, watching the sea collide onto a granular and destitute oasis. Sometimes you will miss amazing sites or won’t be able to capture a moment in a photograph because you simply don’t have the extra set of eyes or appendages to catch everything. (And before you say it, no, those god-awful abominations which perpetuate the anti-social nature of the digital world in a real-world capacity – selfie sticks – are not the solution here.)
Do you love yourself enough to know that it’s ok, you’ll catch other things? To know that despite what Mark Zuckerberg would have you believe, not everything needs to be shared? The memories that will exist for you alone in your mind will be things that will hold an even more exquisite importance because they will only ever be just for you; little nuggets of gold that will be forever held in your heart, mind and soul, enriching every part of you. Do you love yourself enough to really appreciate the gravity of that?
8. You’re going to do things that you might be disappointed in yourself for doing – mistakes, temporary falls, fuck ups.
Do you love yourself enough to pat yourself on the back, give yourself a hug and remind yourself that this is a learning experience, not something to regret? Can you find a way to feel better about what you’ve done without the reassurance from an outside source? We are often times great at giving others advice, providing comfort to a friend in need and lending forgiveness when the other person cannot forgive themselves. Can you offer yourself the same treatment? Do you have the love and understanding of yourself to extend sage words of advice for correcting these mistakes going forward so that you do not repeat the fallacy?
Solo travel requires this, demands it even. Because you will fuck up. You will make mistakes. But if you can pick yourself up, forgive yourself and move on, you will also develop yourself into a supremely stronger person for it.
9. Knowing and loving yourself will make you better at trusting your instincts.
Those who don’t love themselves, who don’t know how to be alone and really own that feeling and all of the glory that comes with it, become desperate for the company of another human being. This can lead to sometimes tragic situations. Loving who you are on your own means not falling prey to bad company for the simple desire to have company at all. Knowing that you want someone’s company rather than needing it is a very powerful thing, and it will change your approach not only on a solo journey, but on the general journey through life.
Desperation begets bad decisions, which begets regret, which begets lost opportunities to be happy. Do you love yourself enough to seek your own happy? Learn to seek out the amazing things that will unfold before you when you really listen to your instincts. This is not something that can be taught, but it is the ultimate eternal gift that we can learn for ourselves – the ability to trust that we can and will make the right decisions.
10. Loving yourself is an energy that exudes outward and ultimately this is the only way you will ever cease to be a solo traveler.
Being in love with yourself is a necessity for solo travel and it is simultaneously what will bring an end to your solo travels. Exuding a clear love for oneself connects you with other travelers and other people in general. Those who love themselves have a pervasive sense of confidence, a glow about them that attracts other individuals to their energy. Someone who loves them self is confident but not cocky; has a sense of being but is humble about their own existence; and speaks with an air of intelligence that is persuasive but not pushy. These are the people who make friends easily, and who you want to be friends with. When you embody this inner love, you will naturally connect with people and you will cease to travel alone.
You will find people to share meals with you; people who will want to hear your story and by whom you will be intrigued to hear theirs. You will spend nights surrounded by laughter (and not just you laughing at your own jokes in your head…score!) and clinking glasses with those who have walked many different paths and yet somehow all fit harmoniously together at one table half way around the world from their Homes.
You will find bonds, be they temporary or long lasting, that will make you appreciate all that life has offered up in that moment.
You might even find love.
The bottom line is that loving yourself is what ultimately brings an end to only ever having to love yourself.
Remember to pack your toothbrush and a change of socks. Don’t forget your passport and a sturdy pair of walking shoes. But above all else, before you set out on a solo journey, remember to spend some time falling in love with yourself. It is the most valuable thing you will keep with you, and unlike a pair of shoes left outside a Thai resort, it is something that once owned, can never be lost.
The Ben Stiller and Naomi Watts movie “While We’re Young” is a brilliantly written introspective on how crafted, coined and concocted our world has become. It highlights how the ones now telling the stories, the 20-somethings generation who seek irony in the most unironic of places, are going about the process in a way that is more like an intricate weaving of half truths, shoved together to create an image of what the world is now demanding to see. It’s authenticity personified.
So it’s no wonder that 20 years later as the digital world has opened up immense new avenues for connection and social media has expanded rapidly with it, our networks and avenues to finding that sense of belonging have exponentially increased. The pressure to present an outward facing persona that is likable, relatable, inspirational or otherwise culturally and socially accepted by the masses has not just become something we do but something we feel we must do in order to increase our chances of survival.
The Zen master begins to pour the tea into the cup. He can see the professor becoming uneasy as the tea continues to pour. As the tea reaches the brim of the cup, close to overflowing onto the floor, the professor yells out, “Stop! What are you doing? This cup cannot hold any more tea, not even a single drop. Are you mad? What are you doing?”
can be a physical being. There will be times when you will be surrounded by one of the largest cities in the world and yet you will feel like if you screamed at the top of your lungs with a ninja-like fury, hell bent on karate chopping the crap out of the next person who walked within five feet of you, no on would even glance up. For as many lovely encounters and wonderful people as there are in this world, we are also self-consumed individuals surviving on a process of natural selection. Eat or be eaten.
You will find people to share meals with you; people who will want to hear your story and by whom you will be intrigued to hear theirs. You will spend nights surrounded by laughter (and not just you laughing at your own jokes in your head…score!) and clinking glasses with those who have walked many different paths and yet somehow all fit harmoniously together at one table half way around the world from their Homes.
Cosmic Trust Fall 